Storiality
The three best friends,Anica, Juliana, and Katy were 13 years old, and they were walking to school in the New York City. Then Anica accidentally dropped her favorite ring on a side street. Anica collapsed and cried.
"It is okay, we will find it for you." Juliana, and Katy said.
However, the ring lead Anica, Juliana, and Katy to an other world. The sky was the bluest sky that the girls ever seen, the land was full of grasses, and the spot that the girls were in was surrounded with trees and, bushes with flower. The girls could not close their mouth. Then, they saw a billboard. When Juliana cleaned off the dusts, she saw the letter "Snow White 500 meters more to the Northeast"
Anica, Juliana, and Katy all were surprised. However, the girls did not even know the way to go to New York. Therefore the girls decided to follow what the billboard told them
After 5 minutes, they were too tired and could not move an other move. The girls collapsed. Then the girls heard the same sound when Anica dropped her ring. Therefore, they followed the sound and find a little house that has a door sized only little people can go in though. It was the house where the 12 dwarfs live. Juliana knocked the door.
"Hello?is any body there?"
There wasn't any answer. Juliana knocked the door again. Still, there wasn't any answer. Katy peeked through the keyhole.
"Guys, I don`t think this is a place where people live........." Katy said.
"Then, let's go in!" Juliana said.
"But you guys all know that it is not the right manner!" Anica shouted.
However the girls were too tired, so they decided to go in. Juliana opened the door, but all they can see was 12 little, dusty chairs, and a big table.
" I told you there is no one living!"Katy said proudly.
Suddenly, Anica, Juliana, and Katy heard a door banging sound.
" Help me! Help me! a twister is coming!"
The girls were frighten, but they opened the door.
a girl with a frighten face, and a dog with a grey fur, three little pigs, and a girl with a red hood came in.
all the people who came in to the house looked horrified, and the smallest pig between the three pigs were crying. Anica,Juliana, and Katy did not know what to do. Therefore, Juliana asked the girl with the red riding hood what happened. First, she cleared her throat and said that the time wheeler which controls the Storiality, the story land is broken,and the story is kept worsting, and Anica, Juliana, and Katy is the only people who can fix this. Also, the characters told that the time wheeler was broken because, many children does not read story books.
"Hello?is any body there?"
There wasn't any answer. Juliana knocked the door again. Still, there wasn't any answer. Katy peeked through the keyhole.
"Guys, I don`t think this is a place where people live........." Katy said.
"Then, let's go in!" Juliana said.
"But you guys all know that it is not the right manner!" Anica shouted.
However the girls were too tired, so they decided to go in. Juliana opened the door, but all they can see was 12 little, dusty chairs, and a big table.
" I told you there is no one living!"Katy said proudly.
Suddenly, Anica, Juliana, and Katy heard a door banging sound.
" Help me! Help me! a twister is coming!"
The girls were frighten, but they opened the door.
a girl with a frighten face, and a dog with a grey fur, three little pigs, and a girl with a red hood came in.
all the people who came in to the house looked horrified, and the smallest pig between the three pigs were crying. Anica,Juliana, and Katy did not know what to do. Therefore, Juliana asked the girl with the red riding hood what happened. First, she cleared her throat and said that the time wheeler which controls the Storiality, the story land is broken,and the story is kept worsting, and Anica, Juliana, and Katy is the only people who can fix this. Also, the characters told that the time wheeler was broken because, many children does not read story books.
You haven't posted all your endings, so I will comment on your story based on what I have read so far. Your story was brilliant in a sense that you explained in detail about the thoughts, emotions, and actions of each characters. What you can improve is to explain more on two different endings. I felt that the story ended too quickly. You need to explain more on how the girls fixed the time wheeler in ending one.
ReplyDeleteWow!!! You did really well!!!!
ReplyDeletehannah Ithink you can become an author^^
ReplyDelete